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Lost and Lonely

Yesterday evening I finally asked my BF if he wanted to be with me.... he says it is off and on. We do live together and I have 2 kids but they are not his. Why Did I put myself in this situation? Why did I let him move in without being married? I have no answers... I cant eat or sleep. Pray for me. I am loosing all hope in all men. I only wanted to love and receive love. Thank you