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Deep Need

I hurt. I am at the end of my rope. I've been broken so many times... I've pleaded with God to show me the way. When I thought things were improving and I was where I needed to be, I fell flat on my face. I don't know what God wants for me, all I know is that I cannot keep doing this. God knows my deepest needs. I believe He will provide them, but there is so much garbage in the way. I feel like I'm suffocating, I feel unworthy...and my heart is crying and screaming to my father to hear me. I have so little left and know God has more for me but I can never seem to get anywhere. I have been through much and the hope I held on to-- the truth and love I need and seek feels like a trick. A mirage. I don't have enough words to convey how I feel. I hurt. There are moments I feel hopeless and that I am undeserving of anything good. I need you, Jesus...