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down in the dumps

Oh please pray for me! I don't think I have ever been so low. My life has gone nowhere and makes no sense. I always pray before I make a move to follow God's will. My family is very abusive and dysfunctional. They make decisions without a prayer to God and know He is real and their life has appeared to turn out wonderful. They take great joy in my pain and have since I was a child. I have cut ties with them but I think they continue to keep tabs on me which is humiliating. I don't want much in life but a stable place to live, heal and keep my name and life away from my family. After I heal from PTSD, I would love to make a difference in this world for those who have been hurt far worse than me. I need a purpose to go on. Thanks for praying