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worn out

After sharing a piece of my testimony I was thrown out of a Christian festival in Wisconsin. It happened again in Pennsylvania after that story spread. But instead of just getting thrown out a second time. I was barred from the head of that festivals' church as well, when I just wanted answers. When I got home, my dad told me police were comparing me to a terrorist. I would love for restoration. I would love to be confident again. I would love to have work come in. I don't know if that's why work is so slow this year. It seems everything is going wrong. I don't know where to begin to describe how alone I feel. I'm tired and worn out. I know being an atheist sucked, but God doesn't defend me any better than my enemy. I'm tired. So, so tired of getting back up only to get knocked down again.