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Done but trying to hang onto hope

I am so frustrated in every aspect of my life. I am constantly at this level and it will often come out in bits of explosive anger or just implosion of depression (both of which are greatly affecting my family). I feel powerless and it's affecting me emotionally and physically. I still have a little hope that things will get better but it's really dwindling. My marriage is on the rocks, I am behind on my work, I look at others and get jealous that they have what I'm asking for. My living quarters are tight, far from where I need it to be and my neighbors (who just moved in) are loud and will further trigger my insomnia. Last night they were up at 12ish, making noises that startled me and made it hard to get back to sleep. That just caused me to be on high alert all night and so I couldn't stay asleep for more than 2 hours at a time. Of course this affects my work at attitude.
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